As 2021 just seems to be a more intense version of 2020, I am settling into my mountain life. I continue to enjoy coaching people around the world. Building new partnerships and re-visiting old ones. Constantly learning, reflecting on my work. Putting effort into building our home. Staying connected with family in the busyness of our day-to-day life. Everything is how it should be. And I know it. Yet, why is there this restlessness inside me? This urge to be thinking about the future, actioning, to be wanting more - more clients, bigger audience, another investment, next vacation, special experience with my kids, just to name a few. I could go on and on. I am more agitated, less patient, even more nervous in this state of mind and heart. And this mostly affects the ones closest to my heart.
Yes, I am a Coach. I support people in changing their mindsets and behaviors. And it turns out, I just need to take care as much of my wellbeing as anyone else. Maybe even more. I came to this obvious realization in March. And of course, as with any clients, there is more inner talk happening, more context to what makes this a challenge for ME. And yes, as a Coach, it is important for me to do the work - inner and outer. If I don't, how can I genuinely expect this from my clients and show up for them as the most effective version of myself?
Who you are is how you coach. - unknown
Benefits are obvious and still my brain is wired the same way as yours, so I tend to forget if I'm not intensional about it.
- I am more balanced with my emotions
- I recover easier from setbacks
- I am kinder to myself and others, more forgiving
- I am clearer on what I need and am able to give
- I can notice the happiness of joy, focus, generosity
People work is emotional. I was always surprised how some leaders in corporate HR could not handle emotions, even tried to "process" them out or see them as binary formulas almost like codes. So, I proclaim that anyone working with people, around people needs to find space for wellbeing. And as women in the second part of our life even more so. No, really anyone, who wants show peak performances at a consistent level!
Healing our own stories, turning them around, overcoming insecurities, allowing us to be what we were meant to be and show up as exactly that every day.
Wherever you go, there you are. Whatever you wind up doing, that's what you've wound up doing. Whatever you are thinking right now, that's what's on your mind. Whatever has happened to you, it has already happened. The important question is, "how are you going to handle it?".... Like it or not, this moment is all we really have to work with. - JON ZINN-KABAT
There are endless resources on how to find ways of inner and outer wellbeing. It took me years to realize that it actually doesn't matter which way I chose, the most important thing is TO DO THE WORK, THE SELF-CARE PRACTICE CONTINUOUSLY. Here is a model that I just learned about and really enjoy almost as a checklist for myself. And for all the critical thinkers, it is evidence-based and well researched.
It is so simple and not easy to maintain a daily practice. I am still on my path of finding consistency, reminding myself where the road leads to if I do and where if I don't. So, here is what I do currently:
take cold shower in the morning combined with breath work and some yoga (Be aware, be Active)
before going to bed taking a mental note of what I'm thankful for, where I need to ask for forgiveness and help
making irregular photo albums of our travels AND looking at them (Be aware)
meditation courses on insight timer App, current one which is amazing is by Sharon Salzberg
Sunday family bush walk (ok, needs to happen more ;-) and dinner)
regular calls with family, girlfriends and SheEO community (Connect)
volunteering for Primary Ethics and offering pro bono Coaching (Help others)
Supervision and Training for my Coaching skills, reading books (Keep Learning)
taking breaks between Coaching, moving, noting nature, exhaling clients' stories (Be aware, be active)
As an active person, for me the most powerful one is being aware and in the moment. Just experiencing the present moment. And realizing, I can let be to be even more effective. As you can notice, lots of un- and re-learning happening from my corporate past where I have seen so much suffering around mental wellbeing.
So, I am really grateful that I now get to use my corporate knowledge about the environment, the stress (which can be good and bad), the power plays, the value-add, the excitement ... to support the wellbeing of my clients. To sit with their emotions, listen to their inner talk and be in the space that will help them to move forward. I learn so much through their stories. And feel encouraged to continue my inner and outer work.
"So, I am curious, what are your ways to wellbeing? What resources do you draw on?"
Especially in these challenging times. I am so sure there is more than you are aware of. Let's celebrate what we already do to show compassion to ourselves, so that we can be kinder to others.
Happy Friday, everyone.